I read Christmas stories and watched Christmas shows.
I put up bright lights and played in the snow.
I bought Christmas presents and made Christmas punch
And sat by the fire eating Christmas Eve brunch.

It wasn’t the same and hadn’t been for years—
The lights and the gifts and the wishes of good cheer.
The snow was still pretty and the decorations still grand,
But somehow it all still felt just a little bit bland.

I wanted to feel that ole holiday Joy
Like I used to feel when I was a small boy.
But it wasn't in stores or on Christmas displays,
And carolers didn't bring it, much to my dismay.

Where were you Christmas? Where was your spirit?
It couldn’t have gone far; I had to be near it.
I’d tried really hard—I’d gone through the motions,
I’d set up my tree and paid my devotions.

And then it hit me: I was trying too hard!
I can’t make Christmas happen—It comes on its own.
So I kicked back my head and stared up at the star.
And I finally saw Christmas again—with Wondering Awe.

Jeff Thomason 11/15/2003